We were in Maui for our honeymoon last week (photos here). One of the things you’re supposed to do when you’re in Maui is drive The Road to Hana, which contains an approximately 30-mile stretch of winding mountain road you must pass through to get to the small town of Hana. So we did.

It’s full of one lane bridges where the car which gets there second is supposed to yield to the car which gets there first. Apparently only tourists follow these rules, as a lot of good old boys with lifted trucks — probably on drugs since lots of people there do drugs, according to the girl who did Amber’s nails at the hotel — don’t stop just because you’re halfway across in a rented Ford Fusion (or Fiesta or Focus or another F-word). I mostly obeyed the rules when we were there, which didn’t make the drive any less terrifying for Amber riding shotgun.

Despite that, the trim is far out and there are surprises along the way which the tourist brochures don’t mention. One such surprise was a guy with a pandemonium of parrots. He said he runs a sanctuary for birds who act in Hollywood movies, and that proceeds from photos with the parrots go toward it. Sold!

(Click to embiggen)

Amber with parrots near The Road to Hana

Amber and me kissing as a parrot looks on near The Road to Hana

Amber and me with parrots near The Road to Hana

This wasn’t my first encounter with parrots in Hawaii. Way back in 1988 — when the Beach Boys’ Kokomo earworm^* was a number one hit coinciding with the dreadful Tom Cruise film^** Cocktail — my brother Chris and I posed with parrots in our awesome jam shorts:

Chris and me with parrots in Hawaii in 1988

This also reminded Amber of a photo I have of my parents from their honeymoon in Busch Gardens in late 1968/early 1969:

Mom and dad on their honeymoon in Busch Gardens with parrots in late 1968 or early 1969

My mom does not look as pleased as Amber did in her photos.

And here’s a bonus non-parrot-related photo from the 1988 Hawaii trip. This is Chris and I with the one and only Don Ho (wrote “Tiny Bubbles”^***):

Chris and me with Don Ho, Hawaii 1988

Because my old man nipple shorts weren’t mortifying enough…

^* - Amber hates this word. Sorry Amber.
^** - is “dreadful Tom Cruise film” redundant?
^*** - I would link to a video of “Tiny Bubbles” I found a while ago but the copyright nazis made Youtube pull it