Say what you will about Michael Scott, but he would never do that. - Jim Halpert on The Office
When Tennessee shitcanned its second winningest football coach in school history near the end of last season — a man who gave almost 40 years of his life to his university — it signaled not just a change in personnel, but a radical change in philosophy.
UT was one of the last holdouts of an era when coaches were grown at home, and stayed at home. The new era is one of mercenaries, ushered in by the hated Gators and Crimson Tide, but one that was inevitable with rising expectations.
It should never be a surprise when a mercenary does an about face and turns his sword toward the last bag of money when the next bag of money comes along. And while it is never a surprise, it still can be shocking when it actually happens, as it was last night.
So I don’t blame UT athletic director Mike Hamilton for hiring He Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken. He was just trying to give UT fans what they were asking for and did the best he could with the available information and pool of coaching talent. If you’re not careful, your school will give you what you ask for too.
Here are the final results. Many apologies for the misfire a couple of days ago. As I plan to do when anything else goes wrong this year, I blame He Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken.
Also, thanks for playing. It’s been a lot of fun.
Bowl results
Player
Total
ATS
Sara
11
7
Writerchad
10
6
Rusty
9
5
Tony V.
9
5
Jason
8
4
Patrick
8
4
B King
7
3
griftdrift
7
3
Carl Lindecrantz
6
2
Jen
6
2
Alyssa
0
-4
Seth
0
-4
Final overall standings
Player
Total
ATS
griftdrift
149
25
Writerchad
145
21
Tony V.
143
19
Sara
142
18
Carl Lindecrantz
142
18
Patrick
138
14
B King
138
14
Rusty
134
10
Jason
127
3
Jen
126
2
Seth
119
-5
Alyssa
108
-16
Tiebreaker
The final tiebreaker, which ended up not being necessary, was “How many points will all 10 SEC bowl-bound teams score in their games combined?” The answer if you’re curious was 262.
This footage is from my grandparents’ 1961 trip starting in Jekyll Island and ending in Jacksonville, Florida where they watched Georgia Tech and Penn State play in the Gator Bowl on December 30, 1961. Penn State won 30-15.
To give you an idea of how long ago 1961 is in football years:
Joe Paterno was still an assistant coach for Penn State. It would be another five years before he was named head coach.
Georgia Tech was coached by Bobby Dodd, and was still a member of the SEC. It would be another three years before Tech defected from the SEC due to Dodd’s dispute with Alabama coach Bear Bryant.
I’ve broken a single 400-foot reel of 8mm film into three parts due to YouTube’s 10-minute limit on uploads:
The trip down. This might be boring to you, but it was interesting to me. Lots of footage of roadside signs, old cars, and what a lot of locales between Jeckyll Island and Jacksonville (Camden, Georgia is the one I could recognize by name, but there were others) looked like at the time.
Warm-ups, pre-game show and 1st half. See if you can recognize the coach stalking the goal line in warm-ups. I don’t think it’s Bobby Dodd, but I could be wrong.
Halftime show, 2nd half, fans’ exit. I love the floats, they’re like something out of a movie. Then seeing the Ramblin’ Wreck exactly as it is now ties the whole thing experience together for me as something real. Tell me if you think that’s a young Joe Paterno walking with the Penn State mascot before the game starts back up. I think it might be, but I can’t tell.
Your final picks are due Tuesday, Dec. 22. It would be so sad if griftdrift blew his six-point lead the last week. Maybe even sad enough to make Timmy Tebow cry…
(was that not the greatest moment in the history of television?)
(why are all the videos of this some dude with a camcorder recording his TV + a bunch of “annotations” that are actually ads for celebrity gossip blogs?)
Week 14 results
Player
Total
ATS
Carl Lindecrantz
7
4
Sara
7
4
Tony V.
5
2
B King
4
1
griftdrift
4
1
Patrick
4
1
Rusty
4
1
Seth
4
1
Jason
3
0
Jen
3
0
Writerchad
2
-1
Alyssa
0
-3
Overall standings
Player
Total
ATS
griftdrift
142
22
Carl Lindecrantz
136
16
Writerchad
135
15
Tony V.
134
14
Sara
131
11
B King
131
11
Patrick
130
10
Rusty
125
5
Jen
120
0
Seth
119
-1
Jason
119
-1
Alyssa
108
-12
Enter your picks
Tiebreaker
How many points will all 10 SEC bowl-bound teams score in their games combined?
Remember to enter your answer to this question in the comments section, and to make sure your answer isn’t the same as anyone else’s.
Last week’s tiebreaker was “How many passing yards will Nebraska’s defense give up against Texas?” Sara’s answer of 298 was closer to the actual total of 184 than Carl’s answer of 315 was, making her the week 14 winner.
Nobody wins! See the tiebreaker section for an explanation.
Week 13 results
Player
Total
ATS
B King
9
3
Writerchad
9
3
griftdrift
8
2
Tony V.
8
2
Patrick
7
1
Sara
7
1
Carl Lindecrantz
6
0
Jason
6
0
Jen
6
0
Rusty
6
0
Seth
5
-1
Alyssa
0
0
Overall standings
Player
Total
ATS
griftdrift
138
21
Writerchad
133
16
Tony V.
129
12
Carl Lindecrantz
129
12
B King
127
10
Patrick
126
9
Sara
124
7
Rusty
121
4
Jen
117
0
Jason
116
-1
Seth
115
-2
Alyssa
108
-3
Enter your picks
Tiebreaker
How many passing yards will Nebraska’s defense give up against Texas?
Remember to enter your answer to this question in the comments section, and to make sure your answer isn’t the same as anyone else’s.
Last week’s tiebreaker question was “How many yards passing will Cincinnati’s starting quarterback accumulate against Illinois?” Tony Pike threw for 399. Neither Ben nor writerchad bothered to guess a tiebreaker, so nobody won last week.
Bonus question: How many goddamn times will the announcers mention Tim Tebow’s name during the SEC championship game broadcast unrelated to a play that just happened on the field?
An entire bar tab to whoever actually counts. A bar tab and a meal to go with it if you make a video montage containing every unrelated-to-play-on-the-field utterance of “Tebow” from the broadcast. This is open to anybody, not just those playing picks.
Griftdrift appears to be pulling away, but writerchad will tell you that one bad week can open the door for other players to make a comeback. There’s only three weeks left, so finish strong.
Week 12 results
Player
Total
ATS
griftdrift
14
4
Rusty
14
4
Sara
13
3
Seth
13
3
Tony V.
13
3
B King
12
2
Carl Lindecrantz
11
1
Jason
11
1
Jen
11
1
Patrick
10
0
Alyssa
9
-1
Writerchad
8
-2
Overall standings
Player
Total
ATS
griftdrift
130
19
Writerchad
124
13
Carl Lindecrantz
123
12
Tony V.
121
10
Patrick
119
8
B King
118
7
Sara
117
6
Rusty
115
4
Jen
111
0
Jason
110
-1
Seth
110
-1
Alyssa
108
-3
Enter your picks
Tiebreaker
How many yards passing will Cincinnati’s starting quarterback accumulate against Illinois?
Remember to enter your answer to this question in the comments section, and to make sure your answer isn’t the same as anyone else’s.
Last week’s tiebreaker question was “How many fans will attend the Maryland-Florida State game?” The answer, according to the FSU Official Athletic Site, was 66,042. That makes griftdrift this week’s winner, as his guess was 3,959 off the total and mine was 4,008 off.
If we have a situation in the future where two players’ margin is the same, but one guessed over and one guessed under, the winner will be the player whose guess was lower than the actual total. Adjust your guessing strategies accordingly.
I’m glad it’s competitive at the top in this contest, unlike in the SEC, where there’s Florida, Alabama and a bunch of teams that like to tease you with a few decent games only to collapse under the weight of their own meager expectations.
Week 11 results
Player
Total
ATS
griftdrift
13
2
B King
12
1
Jason
12
1
Sara
12
1
Tony V.
12
1
Alyssa
11
0
Writerchad
11
0
Jen
10
-1
Rusty
10
-1
Seth
10
-1
Patrick
8
-3
Carl Lindecrantz
7
-4
Overall standings
Player
Total
ATS
griftdrift
116
15
Writerchad
116
15
Carl Lindecrantz
112
11
Patrick
109
8
Tony V.
108
7
B King
106
5
Sara
104
3
Rusty
101
0
Jen
100
-1
Alyssa
99
-2
Jason
99
-2
Seth
97
-4
Enter your picks
Tiebreaker
How many fans will attend the Maryland-Florida State game?
Remember to enter your answer to this question in the comments section, and to make sure your answer isn’t the same as anyone else’s.
Last week’s tiebreaker question was “How many yards of offense will Vanderbilt and Kentucky combine for in their Clash of the Titans?” It turned out not to be necessary, but the answer was 608. Jason was closest with his guess of 595.
C’mon, y’all aren’t really going to let Carl take this contest three years in a row, are you?
Week 10 results
Player
Total
ATS
Tony V.
13
4
Patrick
11
2
Rusty
11
2
B King
10
1
Jason
10
1
Sara
10
1
Alyssa
9
0
Carl Lindecrantz
9
0
Jen
9
0
Seth
9
0
griftdrift
8
-1
Writerchad
7
-2
Overall standings
Player
Total
ATS
Carl Lindecrantz
105
15
Writerchad
105
15
griftdrift
103
13
Patrick
101
11
Tony V.
96
6
B King
94
4
Sara
92
2
Rusty
91
1
Jen
90
0
Alyssa
88
-2
Jason
87
-3
Seth
87
-3
Enter your picks
Tiebreaker
How many yards of offense will Vanderbilt and Kentucky combine for in their Clash of the Titans?
Remember to enter your answer to this question in the comments section, and to make sure your answer isn’t the same as anyone else’s.
Last week’s tiebreaker question was “How many total sacks will all defenses in the Coaches’ Top 25 poll register against opposing offenses combined?” It turned out not to be necessary, but the answer was 56. Sara’s answered exactly 56.
I was hoping the blackout trend had played itself out after Alabama mopped the floor with Georgia last year. No such luck, as both Georgia and Tennessee came out with some black apparel this past Saturday.
In Tennessee’s case, at least there’s a historic precedent that will let me rationalize the black jerseys as throwbacks rather than as the sacrilegious trendhopping gimmick they probably are: the Vols wore black jerseys in 1921 before switching to orange in 1922. Fortunately it worked out last Saturday, but being a little superstitious, I was against the idea when I first heard it might happen.
In Georgia’s case, it comes off in hindsight as a desperate last gasp from a coaching staff that’s out of ideas for how to motivate their players to recover a lost season. Of course, it’s always a good play call when it works, and a bad one when it doesn’t.
Oh, and Lane Kiffin is undefeated against Steve Spurrier. Heh. The gas pumping jokes still aren’t old to me, so keep them coming.
Week 9 results
Player
Total
ATS
griftdrift
14
2
Carl Lindecrantz
13
1
Sara
13
1
Tony V.
13
1
Patrick
12
0
Writerchad
11
-1
Alyssa
10
-2
B King
10
-2
Jason
10
-2
Jen
10
-2
Rusty
9
-3
Seth
8
-4
Overall standings
Player
Total
ATS
Writerchad
98
17
Carl Lindecrantz
96
15
griftdrift
95
14
Patrick
90
9
B King
84
3
Tony V.
83
2
Sara
82
1
Jen
81
0
Rusty
80
-1
Alyssa
79
-2
Seth
78
-3
Jason
77
-4
Enter your picks
Tiebreaker
How many total sacks will all defenses in the Coaches’ Top 25 poll register against opposing offenses combined?
Remember to enter your answer to this question in the comments section, and to make sure your answer isn’t the same as anyone else’s.
Last week’s tiebreaker question was “How many rushing yards will Georgia gain against Florida?” It turned out not to be necessary, but the answer was 121. writerchad’s answer of 123 was closest.
I had dinner reservations in Epcot Center this past Saturday I’d made before I knew what time the UT-Bama game would be, and missed the last few minutes. Naturally, my Vols came within a blocked field goal of beating the number one team in the country on its home field while I was gone. So it’s probably my fault they lost.
I dropped Garrett, kwakkwak and rugby from the standings since Garrett quit last week and the other two haven’t submitted anything since week 1.
Week 8 results
Player
Total
ATS
Writerchad
18
4
Carl Lindecrantz
15
1
Rusty
15
1
Alyssa
14
0
Jen
14
0
griftdrift
13
-1
Patrick
13
-1
B King
12
-2
Jason
12
-2
Seth
12
-2
Tony V.
12
-2
Sara
10
-4
Overall standings
Player
Total
ATS
Writerchad
87
18
Carl Lindecrantz
83
14
griftdrift
81
12
Patrick
78
9
B King
74
5
Jen
71
2
Rusty
71
2
Seth
70
1
Tony V.
70
1
Alyssa
69
0
Sara
69
0
Jason
67
-2
Enter your picks
Tiebreaker
How many rushing yards will Georgia gain against Florida?
Remember to enter your answer to this question in the comments section, and to make sure your answer isn’t the same as anyone else’s.
Last week’s tiebreaker question was “How many passing touchdowns will all PAC 10 defenses allow combined?” It turned out not to be necessary, but the answer was 13. Carl’s answer of 12 was closest.